Mommy Makeover
Getting Everyone on Board
This may be the most important section within the Mommy Makeover site. It is critical to make sure that as many people as possible are supporting you through the entire surgical process. The more involved your support system is, the easier your recovery will be.
It's easier to ask multiple people to help you through this process. This way no single individual is overburdened. In addition, it creates a team-like bond within your family.
Do not worry if there are some people who do not completely support your decision. Typically, this is the case. Not everyone understands the way you feel and your particular motivations. That is fine, as long as the most important people in your life are on board and are willing to help. In particular, it is important that your spouse be there for you.
Remember the reasons why you decided to proceed with the mommy makeover. You have sacrificed your body by bearing your children. This has taken a significant toll on your body. Your abdomen has been stretched beyond its ability to retract. The muscles have been separated. Diet and exercise alone will not correct these issues. Your breasts have enlarged and then deflated. This has left them sagging with decreased volume making you feel less attractive and older than you are.
Getting your body back will make not only you happy, but also will positively affect the rest of your family. They too will benefit from your improved confidence and outlook on life.
Husband
Make sure you explain to him the reasons why you would like to have the mommy makeover. Make him a part of the planning process. Explain how your post-partum body makes you feel. Go over how regaining your pre-pregnancy appearance will improve the way you think and fell about yourself. Patients often tell us how the procedures have changed not only their physical appearance but also their psychological and sexual well being.
Children
Make your children part of the team. The more they understand, the more eager they will be to "help mommy get better." You can tell young children that you had an operation, you don't feel well, and you need their help to recover. It is very important to let them know that you have had surgery. Many children will feel rejected because you cannot hold them and take care of them like you normally do. You may be surprised how helpful they want to be so that mommy will get better. I encourage you to have someone take care of them for the first few weeks. Do not be a hero. You can be a "supermom" later. Allow others to help you take care of your kids.
Support system
Get as many loved ones on board as you can. Think of your parents, in-laws, cousins, siblings, nephews and nieces as potential resources. The more people you have on board, the easier it will be to ask for help so that you don't overburden one person. You may consider hiring a teenage baby sitter after the procedure. This way you can participate in some activities but delegate the things you cannot do.
Work
This the most individualistic part of your support system. Before you tell anyone at work, carefully evaluate your coworkers' stand toward your procedures. There are some jobs where everyone will want to be involved and helpful. Unfortunately, there are others that would rather scrutinize than help you through your recovery. If you work in a friendly environment, don't hesitate to ask people for help. This may allow you to get to work quicker as they can help with the jobs you may not be able to do early on. If your work environment is not friendly, you may need to take a little more time off until you are fully recovered.
Comments from Spouses
We have asked some of the husbands what they thought about their wives getting surgery.
Husband1 - his wife had breast lift with augmentation
Husband2 - his wife had a full mommy makeover with breast lift augmentation, tummy tuck and liposuction
Husband3 - his wife had face lift with fat transfer and now is awaiting breast augmentation :-)
Q: How were your feeling about your wife having her procedure?
Husband1: I felt she was perfect the way she was, but if it would make her feel happier and boost her confidence going through this ordeal, I supported her. She was doing this for her own self confidence and the way she felt.
Husband2: There was a mix of excitement and – believe it or not – guilt. For brevity’s sake I won’t expound on the excitement (I believe that’s fairly obvious); prior to surgery I felt guilty because I was hoping I wasn’t the reason she was having the surgery, that she was truly doing it for her own self confidence. Indeed, it was a complex feeling, as it was compounded by two degrees of guilt:
a. The guilt that I may have somehow put (undue) pressure on her;
b. The guilt that she was the only one taking any real risks
Dr. Cruise & Cristin did an amazing job of alleviating both fears. Clearly, Dr. Cruise’s nurturing ‘bedside manner,’ - coupled by Cristin (and the rest of the team’s) enormous support and in-depth information on everything from surgical options to ‘what to expect after’ – solidified my wife’s excitement and gave me the confidence and ability to “exhale” that I needed as much as she did. One simply can’t put a price on the emotional support Cruise and company gave us.
Husband3: I wanted her to be happy. She was not pleased with the changes in her face and she wanted to do something about it.
Q: Did you have a different opinion/feeling about her having the procedure before vs. after the surgery was over?
Husband1: I did not realize the lack of proportion before the operation, until I saw the finished (healed) product. The Increase in size compliments her figure very well; her breasts size looks natural not like a stripper’s bolt-on’s ;-)
Husband2: Prior to Shayne’s surgery – perhaps as a coping mechanism, I divided (my expectations of) her surgery into three phases:
- Post-Op: Frankly, I was expecting this to be difficult. I was bracing for significant pain, immobility and increased feelings of guilt by me. I also had no rational time expectation for how long this most difficult phase would last.
- Discovery: Once mobile, I expected Shayne to take a while to adapt to her new body and take a while to “unlearn” being self-conscious about her body after two pregnancies (Shayne’s always looked amazing, but was particularly athletic prior to motherhood).
- Self-Actualization: At some point in the future, I was expecting this to have a significant impact across all of Shayne’s being: spiritual, physical, emotional and mental
While phases 2 & 3 developed as I expected, I can’t put into words how wrong I was regarding Post-op. As soon as I drove Shayne to the surgical clinic, it was clear that things were going to turn out much better than I’d even hoped. I’m big on body language and unspoken cues, and the fact that the surgical team was so professional – and this is the key – were exuding such a positive aura of ‘this is so second nature to us; so routine that we’ve seen it all and never let our patients down’, that I was able to leave the center feeling almost as if she were going in for a routine dentist visit.
Then, the fact that everything post-op left nothing to chance – and was brilliantly choreographed (from the post op facilities, to the ride to the private nurses center, to the medications, all the way to post-op follow-ups) made it all (and I can’t believe I’m saying this about a surgery) pleasant, routine and certainly enlightening.
Husband3: Not really.
Q: What positive benefits have you witnessed in your wife's attitude/emotional makeup..etc...since having the surgery?
Husband1: When I picked her up after the surgery, she was crying and I was concerned until she said, with tears of joy “Honey look, I have bigger breasts.” It is also funny to hear her say her breasts are too large for some of her previous garments. On occasion, she is very happy to where blouses and tops without bras. When I see her checking herself out in the mirror and see the smile on her face, I know this operation was the right decision.
Husband2: I can honestly say that Shayne’s surgery has been a transformative experience for her. While I credit Dr. Cruise and staff for accentuating (no I’d say a better word would be redressing motherhood) Shayne’s natural beauty, I credit my wife for using that as a catalyst to rediscover who she is as person. I find it more difficult to keep up with her and her energy, she’s becoming interested in hobbies (such as gourmet cooking) that she never was before, and most obviously, her taste in clothing is certainly more flattering.
As she’s not far enough along to begin working out, I’m really wondering if I’ll have enough stamina to keep up with her and her new vigor for exercise.
Husband3: She is more outgoing.
Q: Do you feel you have personally benefited in anyway from her having the surgery?
Husband1: Yes, my wife’s confidence has increased, allowing her to wear items she might have shied away from or been forced to wear a bra. Also, I did not think it was possible, but I can not get over how much more beautiful she has become to me. Her attitude and the way she feels about her body is so incredibly sexy to me. I am very happy with the surgery however, she is ecstatic.
Husband2: Its cliché for people to think that the only thing a male is interested in is a female’s outer-beauty. While the fact that my wife’s body is more honed goes without saying, to “cheapen” Shayne’s transformation as only physical does my wife, Dr. Cruise, and me a huge disservice.
I feel I’ve most benefited by having the opportunity to be around a person who has a new-found interest in herself and her surroundings. I truly feel that Shayne’s surgery is the physical springboard for a personal rediscovery. Shayne’s infectious personality has actually grown and there’s a pleasing joie de vivre that you can’t help but be jealous of. To this end (and this was truly an unintended benefit), she’s given me the courage – and thrown down the self-actualization gambit – to the point where I’m now interested in losing some of the post-paternity mid-section that’s been creeping in for some time…
Husband3: A happy wife is a happy life and she is happy with the results so I am pleased.
Q: What was your primary concern when she first told you she wanted to have plastic surgery?
Husband1: She has asthma and I was worried about her health and general “What-if” concerns. Not being able to “fix” or help in anyway if something went wrong on the operating table, scares me, but after meeting with Dr. Cruise I felt very confident she would have a good experience.
Husband2: Besides the “guilt factor” discussed earlier, I was also concerned that she/we might be unhappy with the result – something would ‘slip’ when it should ‘slide,’ or even that we might go too far or not far enough. Again, this is where Cristin and Dr. Cruise’s staff were worth their weight in gold; they took a lot of time and answered a myriad of questions that made us feel secure in our decisions.
Another aspect that’s worth noting: Dr. Cruise was always amazingly up front with his thoughts and opinions. In fact, Shayne and I were originally convinced that the more expensive silicone gel was the way to go aesthetically. Dr. Cruise strongly suggested going with saline given my wife’s preferred look. Needless to say, this recommendation actually costs less – and was the only time we’d gotten this opinion from a plastic surgeon (which makes me immediately suspicious of other surgeon’s motives, and all the more appreciative of Dr. Cruise’s integrity) - especially given Shayne’s amazing result.
Husband3: Just the usual concerns with going into surgery.